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If you lose us after a night out, you will find us in Roosters Chicken - and before you say it. We won't tell you where we're from initially In Surrey dahling.

Where exactly in Surrey? W hen we're around other people from Croydonwe have a tendency to drop our Ts and slip in a few more 'inits'.

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Croydon is home to the best football club and football fans in the world - and if you say any different, it's over. We can't walk past what used to be the Blue Orchid without shedding a tear.

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When we wear our hair up, please don't make a joke about Croydon facelifts.

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We've heard them all before. The riots really affected us. The House of Reeves was a landmark.

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Middle-aged men playing the windpipes is our jam. Don't get us started on the topic of Southern Railway.

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